10 Essential Ways to Truly Love Yourself

self-love tips

Hey, I'm Emilie!

A certified life coach, meditation instructor, and spiritual entrepreneur. I’m here to help you create a vibrant life around your higher purpose and heart’s desires. 

Your relationship with yourself is the most defining factor in shaping the kind of life you live.

Simply put, loving yourself is pretty much a requirement for living a fulfilling life. Otherwise, you risk sabotaging your happiness and success.

To act in your own best interests, you must love who you are.

It’s not for nothing that the most common piece of advice we hear in the personal development world is “love yourself.”

But how exactly are we supposed to do that?

In this article, I share 10 real and practical ways you can begin to love yourself more. These tips do work; I know from experience. You could try one this month, then another next month, and so on. If you do that, I’m confident you’ll better about yourself within just a few weeks.

Let’s begin.

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Self-Love Tip #1: Realize How Nonsensical It Is Not to Love Yourself

Not loving yourself is, in reality, pure nonsense.

Why?

Because you’re the only person that you can change and shape in the way that you want. We all know that we can’t change other people, but you can change almost everything about yourself (unless it’s your height or your eyes’ color).

If there’s something you don’t like about yourself, you can change it unless it’s a fixed physical attribute.

You should be your absolute most favorite person and loudest cheerleader.

Self-Love Tip #2: Adopt a Growth Mindset and Be Proactive

Once you realize that you can change most aspects of yourself that you don’t like, be proactive about it.

Here’s what I recommend doing: in a notebook or on a sheet of paper, list all the things you don’t like about yourself or all the reasons why you don’t love yourself.

Then, for each thing:

  • Write down how you would like to be instead.
  • Brainstorm ways you could improve this aspect of yourself – ways you could begin to bridge the gap between your current situation and the ideal scenario.

For example, I used to have social anxiety. The day I decided I wanted to overcome it, I looked for help. I consulted with a therapist, read a book on the topic, and eventually, I managed to overcome this fear with visualization.

Everyone is a work-in-progress.

The best way to progress quickly is to adopt a growth mindset and take action to improve the situation. What do you need to change, and how can you change it to love yourself more?

Self-love habits

Self-Love Tip #3: What Would You Do If You Loved Yourself?

The two next tips come from Kamal Ravikant. He’s an entrepreneur and the author of the book, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It.

In the book, he talks about how he learned to love himself again after his life fell apart. His company failed, and he lost everything – his own money and the money some of his friends and family members had invested.

When this happened, he didn’t love himself very much. He sank into depression, got very sick, and was overwhelmed with guilt and shame.

One thing that helped him rise above the self-loathing was to continually ask himself, “What would I do if I loved myself?”

And he used the answer to direct his actions.

If you act as if you deeply loved yourself, moment to moment and for long enough, you’ll eventually believe that you do love yourself.

For example:

  • Before deciding where to eat for lunch, ask yourself: if I loved myself more than anything else in the world, what would I feed my body for lunch?
  • When dating, ask yourself: if I truly loved myself, what kind of partner would I be in a relationship with?
  • When you wake up on Saturday morning, ask yourself: if I deeply loved myself, how would I spend my day off?
  • When you hesitate to get your ass to the gym, ask yourself: if I wanted the best for myself, would I spend the afternoon playing video games, or would I exercise?

Loving yourself is more than just a state of mind—it’s something you demonstrate in your daily actions.

Ways to love yourself

Self-Love Tip #4: Make It Your Mantra

Something else Kamal talks about in his book is how, for several weeks, he repeated to himself (mentally) the phrase “I love myself” over and over and over again.

He thought this phrase until it played in his mind almost automatically. “I love myself” became his mantra.

If it worked for him, then it can probably work for us too.

Self-Love Tip #5: Break Your Addiction to External Validation

You don’t need others to love you in order to love yourself.

In fact, it’s the other way around – people will usually love you more if you love yourself. You also don’t need to be accepted by others to accept yourself, and you don’t need external validation to feel adequate.

Not everyone will agree with you and want to spend time with you or marry you.

Some people won’t agree with your beliefs, worldviews, values, and lifestyle. And that’s okay. It doesn’t make you less loveable.

Focus on the people who do see your greatness – they are your tribe.

But remember that self-love is self-fueled love: it has nothing to do with how other people perceive you.

Self-Love Tips That Work

Self-Love Tip #6: Live with Integrity

The more you live with integrity, the less you’ll need the approval of others or other external factors to feel good about yourself.

Integrity simply means that we walk our talk. You live with integrity when you consistently align your decisions and actions with your core values.

In practice, it’s quite simple: keep the promises you make to yourself and others.

Also, keep your agreements, follow through when you’ve committed to doing something, and always do what feels right.

Like Tony Robbins says, “Make your values your internal compass.”

For example, if respecting and protecting the environment is important to you, try to avoid buying things that come in plastic containers as much as possible. Or, if honesty is one of your core values, don’t lie.

By doing so, you build self-trust, and you’ll know you can count on yourself.

Self-Love Tip #7: Practice Meditation

I was severely bullied during high school.

Every day in school, I would feel humiliated, lonely, and worried about what people would say to me and about me. For a long time, my self-esteem was very low. As I said earlier, I even developed social anxiety.

It took me years to heal and rebuild my self-esteem.

Meditation is probably the main tool that has made the most significant, positive difference in how I perceive and accept myself.

I would recommend trying Loving-Kindness meditation. It’s a practice that helps to cultivate compassion – self-compassion and compassion for others. Compassion is the antidote to judging yourself and judging others. But any meditation technique will help you love yoursefl more.

You can also join this free meditation class to learn the easiest and most popular meditation technique.

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Self-Love Tip #8: Do Things You Love Doing

In You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero wrote:

“It’s the people who make enjoying their lives a priority who, um, enjoy their lives.”

You’ll likely find that you love yourself more when you love your life, and you love your life when you do things you love.

When I was working a job I disliked, I felt miserable and like a failure. I didn’t love myself very much. When I started making more space for the things I loved doing, I began feeling better about both my life and myself.

Jack Canfield says that we all have an inner compass guiding us on the path to living our best life: it’s the amount of joy we feel. So, when you enjoy doing something, it’s a sign that you are on the right path.

“Pay attention to how you’re feeling and keep your compass heading set to joy.” – Jack Canfield

I believe that acknowledging our soul’s or heart’s desires is the ultimate act of self-love.

What do you love doing? When do you lose track of time? Can you do more of these things more often?

how to love yourself more

Self-Love Tip #9: Forgive Yourself

I want to show you something. This graph comes from the book Power versus Force by David R. Hawkins. It shows the different emotions and their frequency.

How to Love Yourself More

As you can see, shame is the lowest frequency, followed by guilt. Love, on the other end, is a very high frequency.

When you hold on to feelings of shame and guilt for a prolonged time, you lower your frequency (your vibe) and move away from love.

To truly love yourself, you must forgive yourself.

A great book that goes deeper into the concept of forgiveness is True Forgiveness by Jennifer McSween. 

Self-Love Tip #10: Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Another thing that people who love themselves do very well is not comparing themselves to others. It’s a smart thing to do because, since we are all unique.

Comparing yourself to another is like comparing an apple with an orange. Both have different qualities, and one will never be quite like the other.

We all have a unique set of life experiences, skills, talents, worldviews, and personality traits. No one will ever live the exact same life you do and vice versa.

Self-love is also about expressing your uniqueness in all possible ways, rather than trying to copy someone else’s journey.

Like they say, “run your own race.”

Build Healthy Self-Confidence

I have also written an article about 6 Sure Ways to Increase Your Confidence Almost Instantly that I think you might like.

Self-confidence and self-love go hand in hand.

Again, you can also join my free 10-minute meditation class to learn the easiest and most popular meditation technique.

I hope this article will help you. Have a beautiful week!

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